Surgeon general gives advisory on mental health and wellbeing of parents

It’s no secret that being a parent can be stressful. But some families may be surprised that the U.S. surgeon general, a father of two, views that stress as a “critical public health issue.” 

“In addition to the traditional challenges of parenting – protecting children from harm, worrying about finances, managing teenagers who are searching for independence – there are new stressors that previous generations didn’t have to consider,” said U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, M.D., in an advisory on the mental health and wellbeing of parents. 

He’s calling for societal recognition of those stressors and changes to ease their impact through communication and public policy, among other things – treating parenting as the important work that it is.  

 

Amanda Roten, M.D., a psychiatrist at MUSC Children’s Health, applauded the advisory. She works with children and families and sees firsthand the realities of parental stress. “I do think it's a really important topic,” she said. 

“It’s just so important for our kids. If our parents and caregivers are stressed and having difficulty, it trickles down to the child and the child’s functioning and mental health. It’s just so impactful to the children.”  

Roten appreciated the fact that Murthy cited his own family in the advisory, showing it’s not a shameful thing that parents are stressed out but a universal issue.

And that issue affects a lot of Americans. The surgeon general said there are 63 million parents in this country living with kids under 18, along with millions of other caregivers. The advisory reports that last year, 33% of parents had high stress in the past month compared with just 20% of other adults. 

So what’s causing that stress?  

Murthy cited multiple factors, including: 

• Common demands of parenting.
• Financial strain and economic instability.
• Time demands.
• Concerns about children’s health and safety.
• Parental isolation and loneliness.
• Difficulty managing technology, including social media.
• Cultural pressures. 

Some of the items on that list really resonated with Roten. “I definitely think social media is a huge factor. This is a frequent topic among my colleagues and the families we work with,” she said.

“Technology and social media are constantly evolving, and it is difficult as a parent to keep up with it and navigate the complexities of it, especially when parents – I am including myself in this – didn't grow up with it. We are learning about the benefits and risks of it, along with our kids, in real-time.” 

That learning is ongoing. “We're all going to have different struggles with how to utilize technology in a way that works for us – and this includes how to place limits on it. This may look different for different families,” Roten said.

“A resource I really like is the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Family Media Plan. It can help us, as parents, model appropriate use of technology. For example, we might agree as a family that we don't have any of our technology at the dinner table, or we don't sleep with our phones in our rooms, or there's a cutoff time for phone usage.”

Financial stress, one of other the factors highlighted by the surgeon general as causing parental stress, is a common concern among Roten’s patients and families as well. She sees patients of all income levels. Some may have parents who are among the one in four, cited in the advisory, who faced times in the past year when they couldn’t cover the cost of basic needs such as food, rent or mortgage payments.  

“That's always been a huge, huge stressor for families – how to navigate the financial stressors that they have while caring for their children,” Roten said. 

Caring for children involved another stressor in recent years: the pandemic. That falls into the surgeon general’s “concerns about children’s health and safety” category. 

“It just seems like during the past four years, since the pandemic began in 2020, the expectations for parents have shifted. We didn't have our kids in school at all. And now, they’re going back to all the requirements and expectations of school. It's just a lot of change. Any time there's a lot of change like that that makes an environment for a lot of stress,” Roten said. 

The surgeon general’s report didn’t just focus on problems. He suggested solutions for improving parents’ mental health and wellbeing, including: 

Cultivating a culture for parents and caregivers to thrive  

That means valuing parents’ contributions, seeing parenting time as just as important as time spent at a paid job. 

Providing care for caregivers 

Murthy called for societal support for caregivers through policies and community involvement, with a focus on practical aid and emotional support. 

Talking openly about parental stress 

Discussing the challenges of parenting can reduce shame and guilt and increase support, Murthy said.  

Fostering a culture of connection 

This can make people feel more connected. Right now, more than half of parents feel lonely, the advisory said. It called for coming up with ways for parents and caregivers to talk with each other about what they’re going through and share their ideas. 

Roten hopes the advisory has a widespread impact. “We need more support for access to not only help our kids, but our parents, whether it be group support or more formal therapy or resources for their own mental health struggles. We need to do a better job of connecting our parents when they need additional help.” 

You can read the surgeon general’s full report “Parents Under Pressure” here. It includes Murthy’s recommendations for governments, employers, communities, organizations, schools, health and social service professionals, families, friends, researchers, parents and caregivers.